Vases

Vases are stupid. They always seem to know when your the closest one to the table, then they tip themselves over to get you in trouble. Or, they magnetize themselves to your hand so that it looks like you knocked them over. But that only happens when someone else is in the room. And then, your Mom's angry when she finds out you broke her priceless vase. And she pronounces it like voz. It a vase. Vase! Not a voz. Go back to English class. You could always blame it on your evil sixteen year old babysitter, but that'll probably only work if you have fairy godparents. And if you have a babysitter. Don't try pulling that crap "Mom, while you were gone Vicky came over and broke the vase. Because, without fairy godparents, you might as well be blaming it on a tree stump.