Ordinary Conversations

Here's normal conversation between Elijah and I:

Elijah: Congratulations Jeff!
3:17pm

Jeff: Lol, gracias. [Lol, thank you.]
3:17pm

Elijah: It's not a joke. Did I laugh?
3:28pm

Jeff: No, pero gracias. [no, but thank you.]
3:29pm

Elijah: We'll see just how funny it really is when you come home to a pile of ash. On Christmas.
3:30pm

Jeff: You better not.
3:30pm

Elijah: Better not what? I just suggested the inhilariousness of the situation. I wasn't implying anything.
3:31pm

Jeff: Except that you were going to burn my house down Christmas morning.
3:31pm

Elijah: Did I say morning? Because I'm pretty sure I never suggested a time of day. Just the date.
3:32pm

Jeff: Fine, I'll be waiting.
3:32pm

Elijah: I'm putting in an advance report at the local police department, so that way they know that when your house burns down on Christmas morning, they're gonna be knocking on your door, er...stump, not mine.
3:32pm

Jeff: Ha, you just said morning. Now i know the time of day!
3:33pm

Elijah: Are you kidding me? Don't try and twist my words. And it's gonna take a lot more than an abnormally tall, lovesick teenager to stop the wrath of fire that shall most certainly descend upon your dwelling.
3:34pm

Jeff: Lol, what the hell?
3:35pm

Elijah: "I'll be waiting." You didn't think I'd overlook that comment did you? If you did, you've got no idea what's in store for you.
3:35pm

Yep... normal conversation...