My Funny Valentine

An evening with Jeff Hinshaw

"There's a Difference between being alone and being lonely" I tell him "I'm simply alone". "O for God-sake just eat it!" Jeff says gesturing to the small pile of putty-like chocolate on my plate. I've been playing with it for a while and have no intention of eating it. It is Valentine's Day, and just like any other day Jeff and I are sitting in Mrs.E's having dinner. I ignore his suggestions and change the subject, "Would it be strange of me to see a movie alone?" I ask him. "Yeah, it would be because you then look like the guy who has no friends" he says half-jokingly in between bites of chocolate mousse cake, "Why?" I am without romantic involvement yet again, but I'll be damned if I become one of those guys who just sits and broods over the fact that I don't have a girlfriend, to me that's all very childish. You know who I'm talking about, those attention whoreing sad-sacks who always lament the fact that "nice guys finish last". I know there are plenty of fish out there; I just have to be patient. Nevertheless I'm still alone today and have the urge to do something out of the box. "Well" I tell him "I was considering going out a movie and then perhaps to get coffee at Henry's". He gives me a puzzled look as to why the hell anyone in their right mind would want to do that, to this I respond with "it is a holiday after all Jeff, and it beats just sitting in the dorm watching The X-Files on Netflix". "You could just come to my film class with me if you want. You'd get the movie and it'd be free" after a few moments of hemming and hawing like I usually do just to get a rise out of people, I finally decide to accompany Jeff to his class.

We got our "iced-cream" and strolled around to the back of Lewis hall. Taking the stairs next to the Nunemaker center I noticed a string of students walking in front of us, so did Jeff. They were hard to miss because number one: they were only a few feet away and number two: they were talking extremely loud in abrasive British accents. I looked at Jeff and we gave each other disapproving looks. As we passed the law building my thought turned to the day at hand, and I tried to muster up some introspective and deep conclusion about love but the only thing that I could really think about was the Foxy Shazam song "The Only Way to my Heart is With an Axe". At this point, I did my best Eric Nally and belted out the titular line, to which Jeff gave me a cross look and we kept on walking. Now, if you have never seen Budig hall on the Kansas University Campus allow me to describe it for you. From the outside it looks like "Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters" while on the inside it's as clean and sterile as a church or funeral home. We wind our way around to the lecture hall and take our seats among the stocking-hatted hipsters and "Arty" students. Now there are two people who spoke while I was in this room. The first was a kindly African-American man who can only be described as a younger Red Fox in cargo pants and a golf hat, while the other was a pasty rail of a man wearing a cardigan who reminded me somewhat of our mutual friend William. The topic for discussion was film genres and to provide an example of "crossed genres" the William doppelganger played my favorite scene from Blade Runner, the one where Edward Olmos arrests Harrison Ford. Afterword I ask Jeff if when 2019 rolls around he would want to go to LA with me and order noodles, to which he jokingly replies "Sure". Before coming I had told Jeff I didn't want to see a romantic comedy and he assured me he had no clue as to what the film was to be. The film turned out to be "Escape from New York", about the farthest thing one can get from a romantic comedy. I was satisfied. It is here that I will end the story of my valentine's day with Jeff Hinshaw because nothing that occurred after the film is worth the telling. I went back to my room and went to sleep whereas Jeff Skyped with his girlfriend in Idaho, Steph. Valentine's Day is supposedly a day of love, but I don't think that it's simply romantic love as the card companies would have it be. I feel as though something must be said for brotherly, plutonic love between friends. During Valentine's Day you should spend time with someone you care about, and this Valentine's Day, although I did not have a romantic evening, I did get to do just that.