Blogs

Wii Tennis

Wii Tennis: Elijah's Recollection The other night, I had Jeff spend the night. We were bored, and the Wii was glowing, so we popped in Wii Sports and decided we'd play a few rounds of something. Bowling didn't go well, but boy tennis sure did. Jeff played as Jesus, and I as Lincoln. We hit "Best Out...

Gift Messages & Network Printers

Gift messages are great. On Zazzle.com, if you order one of our shirts, you have the option to add a gift tag to your purchase. And it's custom, so it says whatever you want. I have fun with those. Like just the other day, I ordered an Official Orange shirt (more on that later), and I added a gift message....

Text Messages

Text messages are great. UNLESS, some noob texts you in the middle of the night. Yesterday, I did not sleep well (Refer to Old Stereo Equipment blog). But the old stereo equipment was not the only contributor to my sleepless night. Yesterday afternoon, one of my friends texted me around 3PM. Hours passed...

Broken Stereos

Old stereo equipment sucks. Funny story about that... When we moved to our new house, we bought surround systems for both upstairs and downstairs. Then, a couple months ago, I had a birthday party. The day of the party, I was cleaning up the basement, when I went to try the stereo system to make sure...

Dull Pencils

You know what's stupid? Dull pencils. Who invented them anyway? It pisses me off sometimes. Take for example when writing an essay. You sharpen your pencil, sit down, and begin to write. At first, it looks really good. Dark, thin lines shaping every letter, making the whole thing look awesome. Suddenly,...

Fish Wrangler

I started fish wrangling on the 18th of July, so roughly a week. I've got to say, it's been intense. From day 1 I have been clicking the "fish now" button every 15 minutes and I love it. Think about it, clicking a single button every 15 minutes. It doesn't get any more fun that. Oh, and the graphics!...

Facebook For Old Folks

You know you're too old to be using Facebook when... In your favorite movies section, you realize they're all in black and white. 15 kids in a one room school house doesn't really qualify as a network. The "Life List" app isn't very useful at this point. You and your friends' statuses...

Icing Disaster

Some of you may remember my Toaster Strudel blog a long while back. I'm going to tell you something right off; I lied in that blog. I said "One time, I went to warm my icing so it would be easier to work with, but I put it in the microwave to long, and it exploded." That's never happened. Let me...

Driver's Ed

Good old Driver's Ed. Wasn't it so fun? Well, let me give you a little summary of what it was like for me. It was a nice summer morning. I got up like I usually do, around 8:00, and got dressed, fixed my hair, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, then went to my basement and got on the computer. After a...

Chocolate Chip Cookie Muffins

It was just a normal Tuesday morning. I got up and went to eat breakfast. You may have heard my chocolate muffin story. If not, read it. Now! Anyway, I saw three muffins in my snack cupboard, and I was happy! Another rare occasion of the chocolate muffin! I took one of them and set it on the counter,...

Elijah and Jeff Go to Abilene (narrated)

Elijah and Jeff Go To Abilene, Pt. 1 (Elijah) We've only been in the car for about 10 minutes, and Jeff is already pissing me off. We started the sneeze game, and I am winning by 20 points already! For those of you who don't know, here are the sneeze game rules: Sneeze Game 2 - ? Players...

Rock Band

Rock band rocks! I got it a couple days ago and couldn't stop playing it! And I still can't stop playing it! As a matter of fact, right after I am done writing this, I think I will go play some Rock Band. It's that addicting! The very first day I got it, I beat drums on medium. The next day, I beat guitar...

Urban Legend: Anubis Edition

There was once a drum set. A boy played it everyday, but then one day he didn't. The drum set had a curse, which brought plagues upon your house if you didn't play it. The only way the plagues could be stopped is if you played it again. Well, the boy got a kitten, which took all his attention and kept...

Hold It Right There

It was a Tuesday I believe and I had to go. It was only getting worse. It was third hour when the urge came upon me. Between classes i thought about it but then tried not to. In fifth hour the urge came back. This time it wasn't giving up without a fight. I forgot about it during lunch. I was gonna go...

Scab Collections

Scab collections are sick. Have you ever known a kid with a scab collection that dates back to the first time he fell of his bike? Me neither. But still, you can imagine what it would be like if I did. If you have a scab collection, flush it down the toilet. Now. Cos' that's pretty sick. I don't associate...

Yard Art Chaos

Yard Art Chaos: A sickeningly delightful, slightly American, mostly Irken fable "Gather round kids... Let me weave you an enchanting tale to pass the time... There once was a stout garden gnome named Gary who stood proudly in the middle of the Calloway's tidy, seemingly perfect yard. He was an...

The Hunt for the Wild Strawberries Perspective 2 (narrated)

You may have heard of the great Hunt for the Wild Strawberries, but what happened to the town? Why was it destroyed? Well, back on that Saturday (the first day of the hunt), his mom heard gunshots. She cringed. She hated Saturdays when her son shot the trees and wildlife. But, nevertheless, she continued...

Paul and the Quest for Bunny-Flavored Justice

There once was a very affable kid, who enjoyed listening to Cannibal Corpse. His parents didn't enjoy it, so they grounded him and snapped his CD in half. Their words were terse, "This @%!$ sucks!" Little did they know, Paul (the kid's name), knew a kid at school. This kid, who they called Punchface...

Chicken Rap

Okay, every Sunday I'm trapped in my house with my family, doing family things like ignoring each other and arguing whose turn it is to use the computer, not that I'm MAD OR ANYTHING! Well, my dad was busy working on a paper one Sunday, so my mom and I went to KFC to get some food. We were deciding what...

Trailing Off in the Middle of Sentences

People who trail off in the middle of sentences. I can't stand people who trail off in the midd... Man, I could really go for a steak. Ope, whoops, sorry. You see how annoying that is?! And people do it all the time! "Do you know if you go to the store and try and buy one of these." "Yeah? Then...