Trash Cans

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

April 8, 2008 12:00 AM EDT

Trash cans are a waste of space. Ha, waste. (You know, cos' that's what they hold.) Anyways, they're a waste of space. Why do you need to sanction off an area of a room just for trash? Just throw it wherever, like I do. In some of my classes there are multiple size trash cans. Sometimes, to promote my opinion, I take the smaller trash cans and throw them away in the bigger trash cans. Isn't it ironic that when a trash can gets old and gross, you throw it away in a trash can? My teachers my be wondering where some of their trash cans have been disappearing to. Well, I'll tell you where. I threw them away. And why don't they make recycling cans out of recycled material? That would make sense. And why do they make decorative trash cans? I don't walk into someone's house and throw away crap I don't want with a comment like "Wow, what a pretty trash can." No, never. More like, "Here's a place where I can get rid of this crap that's taking up space. I would hate to be the trash men. Picking all people's yack-covered, grease-stained, wooden spoons. Disgusting. And then there's the videos on the internet of guys jumping out of their trash cans to scare the trash men. What the heck?! They're doing the worst job ever, cleaning up after you, and that's how you repay them? If I were them, I would carry a 9 in my orange vest, and the next time some guy jumps out of the trash can, someone's gonna be attending a funeral.