The Hunt for the Wild Strawberries
Jeff HinshawMarch 15, 2008 8:42 PM EDT
"The Hunt for the Wild Strawberries"
It was just a normal, Saturday afternoon, as a smart, acute boy was walking through the forest as usual, smelling the smell of the trees and the grass that were nettling him. He hated trees and grass. He had extreme rancor for trees, grass, and animals. He shot them. Daily. Every day. He had a point system worked out nicely which he had ardor for. One point for every tree, five points for a big animal, ten points for a small animal, and twenty points for a bird. There were bonus points too. If he shot a squirrel or bird on a tree, an additional five points. If he made a tree fall over result from his shot, a bonus fifty points! So far today, he had one thousand points, a much lower number than he was used to. Usually at this time he had five thousand! Those trees just weren't falling over today, that must have been it. Well, he decided to call it quits since he was at such a low score. Maybe next Saturday would bring him better luck. Or maybe it would''t.
He was almost home when suddenly an unidentified flying object was flying toward him! The UFO was formidable. He ran quickly, hoping he could reach his house in time! This wasn't fair! Today he was going to begin his hunt for the wild strawberries! He ran faster, his run for the house seeming interminable! He wasn't used to running like this since he was so indolent. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough and it hit him on the head. It was a digital camera! Someone must have pressed that darn easy button. Haha! I bet you imagined a flying saucer when I said a UFO!
Anyway, he made it back to his house in time to start the great hunt for the wild strawberries! So, he set out on foot through the forest just hoping to find these so called wild strawberries he had heard so much about. He searched and searched. Eventually, he found a lake in the middle of the forest and an abandoned motor boat. He took it and sped around the lake. Suddenly, a kayak came up right beside him! He looked and saw a group of people playing Rock Band right on the kayak! It was the best show ever! He paid them quickly and headed back to shore to continue his adventure.
After twenty years, he finally thought that his quest was over and he failed. He felt a great feeling of compunction. Should he have taken this trip at all? He went and sat down on a log, but it broke in half and he fell to the forest floor. He slowly opened his eyes and there they were! What he had been looking for for twenty years! The wild strawberries! There were thousands of them! Millions even! There was a great profusion of them! He began to have a revelry in celebration of finding the wild strawberries, but then he noticed something. Something was wrong. They were small! So small, in fact, that he left for home very disappointed.
When he arrived home, he found everyone gone, the town deserted. He looked at his watch. It was Saturday. He smiled, turned around, and headed back into the forest... with his gun! That night, he made a new record: one trillion points. That is how all the deer, squirrels, rabbits, trees, and all other small creatures became extinct.
To see perspective 2, click here.