Sir White Stripes

Jeff Fouquet

Jeff Fouquet

April 13, 2008 12:00 AM CDT

Recently I was surfing the net, when this fake scenario came up:

"Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?"

Here's my response:
It seems obvious that if I have superpowers I would also be entitled to a sidekick. I would have to have a skunk as my sidekick. Since a skunk's olfactory nerves are much more sensitive than those of a human, I would rely on the skunk to detect my detection of the lie first. At the faintest hint of dandelion aroma emanating from my pores, Sir White Stripes (for that would be his name) would innocently employ his power of flatulence to mask our discovery from the would-be deceiver. After all, such actions from a skunk would be completely forgivable. However, in the event that the dastardly deceiver is able to make his way to Washington, Sir White Stripes will be of little use to me since the amount of flatulence necessary to accomplish anything in that city would be deadly, even to a skunk.