Oh Man.

Bill Kampsen

Bill Kampsen

February 18, 2009 12:00 AM EST

You know, people are funny. People and their pets are funny. Froggies are funny, too. But that's not what this is about, because that would be making fun of people and froggies, and that's not funny.

Is it making fun of someone when they don't know that you are? Is it making fun of something when it is just an observation? I don't mean any harm. I just see things that are funny to me.

I've said it before. I work in a building that has an inordinate amount of funny things that happen. And I've also said, maybe it's just me that thinks it is strange. Maybe everyone is making fun of me, but I don't know it so it doesn't hurt me. It's just funny to them and they can't help it. I don't see anyone laughing, though, and I would think that I would catch them occasionally. For that reason, I suspect that it is not me who is strange, although I may be alone in my thinking.

The building where I work is two story, with an east corridor and a west corridor, and everyone has their little paths that they take. Some never venture into other corridors or on the other floors or even see most of the other tenants, but the company that I work for has suites in all four corridors, so I get around a little. Sometimes I take the elevator and if I'm on the second floor going down and someone else gets in before me, I'll say, "One, please". To me, that's funny, because there is no other button to press.

I am on the second floor, west corridor. Been here for nearly twenty years, which is cool and tragically sad at the same time. Down below me somewhere is a tenant with a large head. Big melon. Massive noggin. Brain the size of a basketball. 80 lb skull. Living cartoon caricature. I'm not even kidding. The man has a freakin' big head and he has also worked in this building for a long time. And every time I see him, I think, Oh man, look at that head. That head is uge! (said to myself in the voice of Elvis. Actually, my version of the voice of Elvis, which may or may not sound like Elvis at all, but in my head, sounds EXACTLY like Elvis). The man has a hunka hunka big head.

I don't think it to be mean or to make fun of him. It's just that big, and every time I see it I am amazed. The guy must know a lot of stuff. There was a band in the late eighties/early nineties called Big Head Todd and the Monsters, so it was just natural that this guy would be called Big Head Todd. Not to his face, because that would be mean. So it goes for years until one day I see BHT and another tenant in the hall. The other tenant greets BHT, and what he said shocked me. The other tenant said, "Hey Big Rob, how are you doing?" All this time I was thinking it was Todd. It's Rob. But BIG Rob, nonetheless.

Fast forward to Sunday, I am having lunch with my wife, our son and his fiancée. She says something about her dog, which is black lab with some great dane. Why can dogs have interracial relationships and no one gets upset? In fact, humans sometimes encourage it, but they can't stand the idea of humans doing it. Maybe if we were categorized by breed instead of race, then... no that wouldn't work because poodles would have nothing to do with dachshunds. Wrong side of the fence. Wait a minute! I guess humans do have breeds after all, so never mind. Anyway, our future daughter-in-law says that not a day goes by that she doesn't look at that dog and say, "Man, you are huge!" And that's how I know, I'm not alone in this thinking, and she will fit in just fine.

Oh man, what if I saw Big Head Todd at the park with a black lab/great dane mix? That would be awesome. Awesomely scary!

Skeleton 1

The character from Ed, Edd & Eddy who reminds me of Big Head Todd, because when he runs, his head wobbles and drags behind him.

I can't wait to see him today, now that I have written this down after all these years. It's going to be a fun day.