Life Jackets

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

March 7, 2008 9:52 PM CST

Life jackets suck. Sure, they can save your life, but they're itchy and rub up against your skin like a suckafool. Life jackets, in the event that you were to fall off a floating vessel, could mean life in a life or death situation. But that's no excuse for their uncomfortable and unstylishness. You look like a pickleduck. (And that's not a compliment.) I support normal life jackets, but the orange ones are just terrible (although, the people on the Titanic would've probably given their education and their legs for one.) I think the law should be, if you're 14 or older, you don't have to wear a life vest if you've taken at least one swimming lesson. That would be genius, but until that law comes to the desk of George Walrus (Yes, we've all been wondering what the W stands for) Bush, life jackets suck.