Get Friends, Fast!

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

April 30, 2009 12:00 AM CDT

Are you tired of not having any friends?! Are you sick of people (your friends) forgetting your name?! Do you want more friends?! Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be reading this. Well, we here at Official Orange have developed a method that's sure to get you hundreds (no guarantees) of friends fast! Most programs like this are 3-step and take months to show any effects, but ours will work (almost) instantly. See, the key to making friends is a concept I like to call "false-popularity". All you have to do is call everyone the same name. For example's sake, we'll use the name Scott. Whenever you see a guy you know, say "what's up Scott?" At first, he'll be like "Wtf..." But soon he'll realize what just happened. It seems that you have so many friends that you can't keep their names straight and therefore just called him by the wrong name. And, he'll immediately want to be one of your hundreds of friends, so that he too may be popular. And this works with girls too. If you want girls to think you're cool, call them all Catherine. At first, they'll be like "Wtf..." but soon they will realize how popular you are, and you'll instantly receive a Facebook friend request. Plan to try it out? Leave a comment below to tell us how that goes...