Band-Aids

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

March 29, 2008 1:53 PM EDT

Band-aids suck. They're just all around crap. Sure, they cover the disgusting scar you got last night when you dove off the top of your parking garage and landed on a pinwheel that you're brother oh so precariously set among the leaves, but still... They have different ones, different sizes, different colors. Well, there's never one that fits perfect. And why are they in the shape of a rectangle? Have you ever gotten a cut/scrape in the shape of a rectangle. No! You haven't! Don't pull a ***** and lie, because you haven't! Don't send me pictures of your sick-*** rectangle scab, because I'm not interested. The only reason you need a band-aid is when you're in pain. Band-aids follow-up pain. You should never want a band-aid. They're not fun. And when I put one on, it finds a way to peel itself off, or get gross and extremely dirty, or have a pointy edge to irritate my skin. Crap!