Akavar

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

March 15, 2008 8:42 PM CDT

Akavar is stupid. Ever seen their commercials? I have. You can eat as much as you want and still lose weight! Bullcrap. That may be true, but there has to be some crazy technique behind it. Like bulimia. I'm almost sure Akavar must induce bulimia. Otherwise, how would that be possible? Does the pill eat away at your insides, while at the same time forcing you to poop everything you eat out? Basically, you poop, and in the toilet is a bowl of steaming hot Ramen, just as it was when it went in. Now that's sick. Oh, I'm sorry, Were you eating? And on top of that, the famous line "And we couldn't say it on TV if it wasn't true!" Really? Bullcrap. I'm pretty sure that if I had the money to do it, I could go on TV and have a 30-second spot of me repeatedly saying "We don't need oxygen to live." According to Akavar, I couldn't do that, but bullcrap. And have you ever looked at the picture at the bottom of the screen? There's a girl swimming in what looks to be raw grease. It's like the "pounds just melted off," and then she swam in them. I really hope you weren't eating. I'm not allowed to have food in my room, but whatever.