A Simple Question

Elijah Kampsen

Elijah Kampsen

May 26, 2009 12:00 AM CDT

So, lately at school I've been asking people this question and getting not-too-friendly responses. And I'm not sure why. So, I ask, "Do you ever blow your nose on your cat?" It's a simple question and you don't have to get all offended or disgusted. I don't do it, but I'm wondering if other people do, because it's a smart idea. If you think about it, you could save a lot of money on Kleenex by just using your cat as a facial tissue. The cat will clean him/herself right off and then you have a reusable Kleenex. It's kind of the same concept as a handkerchief, but this one requires no effort on your part (since you don't have to wash it). Of course, you can't wear a cat over your face and rob a bank, but you probably didn't even consider that, did you? Or did you? Oh... Alright then... But, all you dog-lovers out there, ponder this. If you blow your nose on your dog, what's it gonna do? It's gonna think you're just playing with it and then it's gonna kick you or bite you and then you'll have a bloody nose instead of just a snotty one. And that's why cats are superior to dogs. Call me gross. I don't care, but next time you go to Wal*Mart and spend $3 on Kleenex (or I guess facial tissues, since not everyone buys the good stuff), think of what you could be spending that money on. You could buy yourself a new...well, a bag of socks. You could get new socks to replace all the ones with holes in them. Or, you could buy some candy or something at the cash register. Or, better yet, a tabloid magazine! Did you hear J-Lo is pregnant with Tom Cruise's kid?!