Blogs

Royals Game

Royals Game

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 29, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Recently, Jeff and I attended a Kansas City Royals game. While there, it was colder than ******** on a holiday, so to find relief from the cold, we went to get some hot dogs. Now, hot dogs were just the thing we needed on such a cold day. So, we walked up to the first place where you buy hot dogs....
ActiveX

ActiveX

Erik Hansen
Erik Hansen
April 29, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
A lot of websites use something built into your internet browser called ActiveX. This ActiveX thing helps do a lot a things on websites, so you'd think it would be really hard to delete, right? Well, you would be wrong. I was cleaning all the old junk off my computer (KidPix, Disney Magic Paintshop,...
Vote For Hannah!

Vote For Hannah!

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 20, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Now, some of you may be aware that Student Council elections are coming up this very Monday! The forecast for Monday? It'll be a bit windy. Now, let me introduce you to most certainly the prettiest candidate for President (or maybe Secretary...) You may know her as "Lil' Helmke", but we here at...
Vending Machines

Vending Machines

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 16, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Part I Vending machines are kind of like crap. They always find a way to malfunction. Take today for instance. I went to buy a bag of Garden Salsa SunChipsĀ®, when I fell prey to the evil wrath of that which is thy vending machine. So, I put in my money. A $1 bill. Well, the first time, it doesn't take...
Beef Nuggets

Beef Nuggets

Alec Weaver
Alec Weaver
April 15, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
I don't know about you but a few weeks ago I discovered the most delicious food in the world, Jack links brand beef jerky beef nuggets. Okay I know you're probably thinking WHAT?!? So let me break it down for you: A long time ago Odysseus' soldiers landed on the island of Apollo and slaughtered all...
Movie Theater Prices

Movie Theater Prices

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 13, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Movie theater pricing sucks. Recently, I went to see Prom Night with Emily. I had a great time, but you know what would've even made it more fun? Popcorn. And something to drink. But no. I can't afford their refreshments! I could buy a brand new CD and listen to it over and over for the same price as...
Sir White Stripes

Sir White Stripes

Jeff Fouquet
Jeff Fouquet
April 13, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Recently I was surfing the net, when this fake scenario came up: "Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?" Here's my response: It seems obvious that if I have superpowers I would also be entitled to a sidekick. I would...
Chain Letters (2)

Chain Letters (2)

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 12, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
I hate chain letters. I wake up in the morning thinking...I can't wait to read as many possible chain letters in a row as I can without sleeping. So, I thought I'd right my own. All this crap I tell you is true. Once upon a time there was a little boy named Brittany. He had a girl that he really...
Sandwich Sunday

Sandwich Sunday

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 8, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Sundays are a big day for some families. Most specifically, for church. But for me, Sundays have a whole different meaning. You see, my dad plays the drums for church every other week-end. And every other Sunday, we have a tradition for when he arrives home. I will help carry on this tradition when I...
Trash Cans

Trash Cans

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
April 8, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Trash cans are a waste of space. Ha, waste. (You know, cos' that's what they hold.) Anyways, they're a waste of space. Why do you need to sanction off an area of a room just for trash? Just throw it wherever, like I do. In some of my classes there are multiple size trash cans. Sometimes, to promote my...
Wal-Mart Prices

Wal-Mart Prices

Jeff Hinshaw
Jeff Hinshaw
April 7, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Wal-Mart Prices. Wal-Mart prices are awesome! I was at Wal-Mart the other day, and I was looking for a good table to buy with some good chairs to put on my deck out back. Well, I was searching around and couldn't find anything good, so I asked some guy with a blue vest on where I could find a good one....
Construction Workers

Construction Workers

Jeff Hinshaw
Jeff Hinshaw
April 7, 2008 12:00 AM EDT
Construction workers. I HATE construction workers! I don't even think you can call them workers. More like eaters! Construction eaters. Wait, that doesn't make sense, they don't eat construction! Okay, I guess I'll just substitute construction with sandwich. Sandwich eaters. That would be the best job...
Band-Aids

Band-Aids

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
March 29, 2008 1:53 PM EDT
Band-aids suck. They're just all around crap. Sure, they cover the disgusting scar you got last night when you dove off the top of your parking garage and landed on a pinwheel that you're brother oh so precariously set among the leaves, but still... They have different ones, different sizes, different...
Kites

Kites

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
March 29, 2008 1:53 PM EDT
Kites fit in with my band-aids story. Well, the other day (Thursday during Spring Break), we went to fly kites out at the zoo. I mean lake. I could've just clicked backspace to erase zoo and write lake instead, but that would've been too much work. I'm lazy, remember? So, anyways. It was windier then...
Orange Shirt

Orange Shirt

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
March 29, 2008 1:53 PM EDT
So, recently, my family went shopping, to buy stuff. You know? What families do when they shop... So, anyways, I got an orange button-up shirt. This shirt has magical powers. It's kind of like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh has a lucky shirt, except I didn't get free video games, and I actually...
White-Out

White-Out

Jeff Hinshaw
Jeff Hinshaw
March 28, 2008 10:34 PM EDT
White out is retarded! I don't even think it works! Hey look, kid! You made a mistake! And you wrote it in pen! Now you ****** up! Now you ****** up! Now you ****** up! You have ****** up now. Now you ****** up! (Whitest Kids U'Know, Right Elijah?) Anyway, you ****** up now and you go for the white out....
Plastic Forks and Spoons

Plastic Forks and Spoons

Jeff Hinshaw
Jeff Hinshaw
March 27, 2008 9:57 PM EDT
Plastic forks and spoons suck! At school, they got rid of the metal forks and spoons because people were throwing them away. That was a stupid move. Now I don't know what to do when we have lunches like today! Today we had a burrito. With cheese. I'm not gonna pick it up with my hand, since it's covered...
Annoying Gum Chewers

Annoying Gum Chewers

Jeff Hinshaw
Jeff Hinshaw
March 27, 2008 9:57 PM EDT
Annoying gum chewers are annoying (Well, imagine that)! I was just sitting at school one time, (like I do every single day!) and I'm trying to concentrate on this assignment. Well, some kid has to chew with their mouth open! So I'm sitting here trying to concentrate, and all I hear is the gum being punctured...
Potted Plants

Potted Plants

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
March 24, 2008 6:35 PM EDT
Potted plants. Potted plants are crap. Here, I'll give you a second to get up, and go over to the nearest potted plant, and just say "Hey...You suck." You know why? There's a couple of reasons. First of all, think of how much work you have to put into the upkeep of a potted plant. You have to water it...and...
Vacuums

Vacuums

Elijah Kampsen
Elijah Kampsen
March 24, 2008 6:35 PM EDT
Vacuums. Vacuums are crap. There's a couple of reasons, the biggest being their name. Vacuum. Now, most young children have got the right idea. Spell it vacume. Now, who decided to string two U's together? What the heck? And the noise they make. Why do they make noise? I don't make near as much noise,...